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Dear Mr. King,

I hope this letters finds you well!

I am a big big fan. Maybe one of your biggest fans in the whole wide world. Actually on second thoughts I am sure there are bigger fans but I am one of the bigger ones, who is taking the time to write you this letter, buy a stamp for it, lick the icky envelope and send it to you.

I really love how you are able to capture evil be it in the shape of demons, monsters, and spirits, or mere humans. The way with which you also manage to splinter evil in the human psyche is remarkable.

I remember watching It on television. The television series gave me endless chills throughout the late 90s and mid 2000s.

Unlike many I wasn’t traumatized by scary looking clowns, however, I am writing to you to ask you to alter the object with which It lures the boy into the sewer. I am not sure but maybe it was more of a storm drain than a sewer.

Anyhow…

Why did it have to be a paper boat? Paper boats are great symbols of childish innocence.

You twisted it into an object of evil lure. I never looked at a paper boat the same. In fact every time my father made me a paper boat I run screaming.

Don’t get me started on Misery. Wooden beams and hammers were never the same after that scene with Kathy Bates and James Caan.

Going back to the boats … can you ask the producers to go back and CGI that scene. Maybe replace the paper boat with a crocodile origami maybe!

If you don’t comply I will ask my friends, who are also fans, to write a big and loud petition. As a big invested fan in your books and movies I believe I have every right to control your creative output.

P.S. I hope you understand I am not just a fan. I am “the” fan, who wants the best from you. I know deep down there is a good writer within you waiting to write more great books.

Helmut Winey Mach Fann
1996

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Hemingway On Safari

Dear Mr. Hemingway,

I hope this letters finds you well!

I am a big big fan. Maybe one of your biggest fans in the whole wide world.

I really love your writing style, your characterizations and short descriptive sentences. I am happy to say I was also a journalist but I did not get to participate in a devastating war like yourself and cover its brutal atrocities that are conducted under blatant meaningless nationalist heroics – thank God for that. War is stupid and so are the men who advocate it.

I really love how you write the world in which Nick Adams dwells. One day I hope to write my own book with my own character!

Anyway … I have a simple request … can you please change the ending of The Old Man And The Sea?

I felt it was rather bleak. In fact I am not the only one who feels this way. Everyone I know thinks likewise.

Why would you do such a thing to a hardworking fisherman like Santiago?

If you are not willing to change the ending I will start a petition calling for the publishers of your work to alter the ending.

I know a lot of people, like myself, who are also big big fans, and will go to extreme lengths to give good ol’ Santiago the ending he deserves.

Your one and only fan …

P.S. Apologies for the harsh final two lines but as an entitled and deserving fan I really want the best from you.

Helmut Winey Mach Fann
1955

The Photograph is from The Earl Theisen Collection
Credit: Getty Images
Copyright: 1952 Earl Theisen

 

beat & fight double shot

Beat and fight the bully … never kowtow.

These will be handmade so if you used to get bullied bring me a white tshirt and I will make one for you on the spot and for free. Inbox me beforehand … 

By the way both versions will only come in white so that the blood you bleed, as you fight them goddamn bullies, shows.

Will soon reveal the story behind these or maybe not … let the bully in obscurity, cowardice and banality rot … yalla join the fight!

Sardine 2019

#sardineart #sardine #tshirts #fightthebully#antibullying #tee #tshirts #free #wild 

The Dark Side of the Spoon Ep.1

10 years later I finally got around to launching my webcomic.

Originally called The Dark Side Of The Spoon, and published in U Men magazine for 20 issues, I changed the title to The Darker Side Of The Spoon.

Why the change? When I first came up with the name, 10 years ago, I was rather inexperienced in doing online research in terms of branding and finding other name holders.

Call it my way of trying to right a wrong.

Still I couldn’t fully part ways with the title of my comic strip, which is why I replaced Dark with Darker. In a way the new title reflects how things got darker and darker with Mako and Meouch in the past few years.

Mind you: They are still as blatant, obnoxious and opinionated like their creator … Sardine!

This is the website:

https://www.thedarkersideofthespoon.com/

Enjoy …

So “Bahrain Orders Citizens to ‘Immediately’ Leave Lebanon After Prime Minister’s Surprise Resignation …”

Hmm …

Somehow Lebanon every now and then morphs back into the-Hollywood Delta Force / Navy Seals version.

Idiots!

It is 2017 and they still want to portray Lebanon as the most dangerous spot in the world!

Anyhow have no fear … thanks to Chuck Norris and Charlie Sheen there are ways to survive a trip to Lebanon.

First and foremost avoid the Manaqish … kidding! You will eat your fingers after eating their Mankousheh!

Oh … back to surviving Lebanon!

Just watch The Chuck Norris / Charlie Sheen Straight To Video How To Survive Lebanon and The Lebanese.

Hope you know what satire is!

All the love Lebanon … don’t mind the haters!

The Chuck Norris Lebanon Survival Manual feat. Lee Marvin and a VW van:

Charlie Sheen’s How to Survive A Day In A Cliched Hollywood Beirut Guide feat. A Product Placement Mercedes:

Brick In The Head
2017

Hello all,

So according to a quick run through my WordPress stats I have 66 living and breathing beings following my blog.

I wish to thank you all for your interest in my words and false wisdom.

It has been a while since I posted anything worthwhile. In the past two years I took an oath not to partake in any political discourse or social critique.

Why? I am too busy drawing lines and chasing after my livelihood.

There are many things in life that you cannot shake off: You being a writer and a radio person.

It has been a good year – minus the French scenery in France and Marion Cotillard – if you know your cinema you will get the reference.

However, I am blessed with a woman who is as lovely as Marion. I don’t talk much about my personal life as I try to let my work talk about myself as much as I can.

So yes it has been a good year. I am now a news reader and editor at Bliss 104.3, where I find myself surrounded by creative decent people. I’ve been working on expanding my art studio F.A.D.A. 317 and a couple of other projects.

I also haven’t stopped doing graffiti. There is something liberating about spraying your lines on a wall in Amman – it cuts the middleman and places your work for observation by thousands of people.

Following an artistic cultural trip to the U.K., compliments of the British Council, I started a blog dedicated to graffiti.

I called  it Spray Rocket Ape: Graffiti JO + and even designed the banner – since my side career is now all about illustration.

Sprayrocketape banner by Mike V. Derderian

I have a thing for apes;-})

Anyway … time for me to get back to designing album art for a client.

So here is the link to Spray Rocket Ape and I hope I can get to blog a little more.

https://sprayrocketape.wordpress.com/

Stay sound and sane …

Mike V. Derderian, a.k.a. Sardine.

Lately I’ve been busy with a new life at Bliss 104.3, where I write, edit and read the news; and host two evening shows, The Lounge and The Bliss Night Out.

I really love radio.

Radio was and will always be a love at first sight affair for this homo sapien thanks to Robin Williams’ Good Morning Vietnam. Working for Bliss really broadened my scope as a disc jockey. It is also pushing me to brush up on my rusty humor.

So … Creating gifs is a way to relieve the stress of this ephemeral life.

Below is an example of what I am doing. This is my Siren of Solitude.

She is simply asking,”wein el ba7ar / where is the sea?”

giphy.gif

You can check my gif work at http://giphy.com/channel/mikevderderian

Nothing fancy … just an aspiring illustrator playing around with Photoshop.

Until my next blog post …

Stay sound and sane :-})

Mike V. Derderian, a.k.a., Sardine

 

Let Us Imagine

Let us imagine,

The rivers are burning afar.

We hear the silence; when suddenly,

Music comes our way, to kill us,

So that the dance may gain strength and momentum,

Under the white sun.

Many Jordanians, or at least the ones I have on my Facebook feed, for some time, have been discussing the meaning of a poem painted over Al Fuheis complex in Down Town Amman.

The poem is by Moroccan Poet Mohammad Al Baz, and the artwork is by Abdallah Al Karoom. The piece was curated by Darat Al Funun.

So what is the meaning behind this poem?

It means a lot of things for different people.

Poetry, whether induced by drugs – not that we encourage or write poetry that way – or by uninfluenced imagination, is supposed to make us think. Poets want us to take a moment, whether short or long, and contemplate our existence.

As a visual piece this poem is also an excuse for you to look up a little. Aren’t you just tired of looking at your feet as they heavily shuffle over the pavement — the result of gravity?

If every poem came with York Notes* we’d be a less civilized thinking world, but then again the ongoing wars and murder of people over thoughts that question existence, and everything else, are proof that we are far from civilized.

We are where we are because of our thoughts, words, sentences and paragraphs; written and visual.

What is nonsense to someone makes sense to someone else.

Read Samuel Beckett’s absurdist play, “Waiting for Godot“, which will probably not make much sense after the first reading.

The first time I read the “Let Us Imagine” poem I did not give it much thought either. Now that I am 37 and have a little more understanding of life and literature, or so I like to believe, I decided maybe I should try to give it my own interpretation.

Remember I am not trying to enforce this interpretation on anyone; I am merely trying to give you the approach of an English Literature student to a poem.

Let us suppose a professor came up to me and asked me to explain the poem to him.

I would first translate it into English, and then break down its imagery, similes and what have you.

So here goes!

The first line:

Let us imagine,

In the very first line the poet is inviting us to imagine. He is not asking us to believe. He just wants you to take a moment and imagine a scene with him, a scene from his own mind.

The second line:

The rivers are burning afar.

What the poet did here is he gave water, from rivers, the characteristics of a combustible substance. He gave us a supernatural setting. It is either that or someone illegally unloaded chemical waste in a river somewhere.

So where are we now? We are most probably standing on the bank of burning river –part of an apocalyptic vision.

If Adele can Set Fire to the Rain then Moroccan Poet Mohammad Al Baz most surely can set rivers on fire.

The third line and fourth line:

We hear the silence; when suddenly,

Music comes our way, to kill us,

Silence is given a voice. Giving silence a sound is not a new thing. Simon and Garfunkel would know what I am talking about. So what did the poet do by giving silence a sound? He turned him into a person.

In the fourth line we have another case of personification. Music is given a human attribute in the form of action; the ability to kill. The line also bears a symbolic connotation to the emotional effect that music can have on our minds.

The fifth line: 

In the following line:

So that the dance may gain strength and momentum,

This line tells us of the motivation behind the actions of Music, the person.

Assuming you’ve survived the attack you will find a way to grow stronger. The attack is on our senses. When hearing music our muscles – commanded by our senses – will break into dance.

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche says,” that which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”

The sixth line:

Under the white sun.

The sun in reality is the color white; and white symbolizes purity. We all end up dancing under a pure sun; in a pure world.

Remember the above is what I understood from the poem.

A poem is no different than a mirror; it only bears your own reflection, or what you choose to see, or read into that reflection.

*York Notes are a series of English literature study guides. I remember seeing many students buy them while studying English Literature in the University of Damascus in Syria. Instead of reading an entire novel or a play one could easily buy York Notes and pretend to have read a book.