Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

So “Bahrain Orders Citizens to ‘Immediately’ Leave Lebanon After Prime Minister’s Surprise Resignation …”

Hmm …

Somehow Lebanon every now and then morphs back into the-Hollywood Delta Force / Navy Seals version.

Idiots!

It is 2017 and they still want to portray Lebanon as the most dangerous spot in the world!

Anyhow have no fear … thanks to Chuck Norris and Charlie Sheen there are ways to survive a trip to Lebanon.

First and foremost avoid the Manaqish … kidding! You will eat your fingers after eating their Mankousheh!

Oh … back to surviving Lebanon!

Just watch The Chuck Norris / Charlie Sheen Straight To Video How To Survive Lebanon and The Lebanese.

Hope you know what satire is!

All the love Lebanon … don’t mind the haters!

The Chuck Norris Lebanon Survival Manual feat. Lee Marvin and a VW van:

Charlie Sheen’s How to Survive A Day In A Cliched Hollywood Beirut Guide feat. A Product Placement Mercedes:

Brick In The Head
2017

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Hala Wain 3ami by Sardine

Celebrating Halloween in Jordan is no longer legal or so they say!

So I guess the Jordanian government now can move on to solving bigger issues!!!

Ah, well! We always need a little more backwardness with all the progress we are making.

Please note that this is coming from a man who hasn’t worn a costume for Halloween since 1990.

Another please note: This design dates back to 2 – 3 years I just re-modified it after hearing the news about the ban yesterday.

Hala Wain 3ami and welcome to Jordan :-})

Sardine

 

 

A couple of months ago I was contacted by Vladimir Palibrk, one of the founders of Risha Project, and asked to create a short comic.

Thank you Vladimir and Risha Project for this wonderful opportunity and for believing in my lines and words :-})

I wrote and drew 24 pages.

This is the link to the full and high resolution comic: http://rishaproject.org/pub22.html

It was a fun project that gave me the chance to re-explore comics as a form and process.

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In 2008 I wrote and drew a six paneled comic called The Dark Side of the Spoon for a magazine called U Men.

I cannot wait to get back to doing this full time and this was a great practice.

Hope you enjoy reading it :-})

Sardine, 2014

The Devil Rocks

“Please allow me to introduce myself …” *

The above is a very quick illustration bemoaning the state of media in Jordan …

In a nutshell, Project Pen did some wall stencils around Amman, and that were sadly mistaken for secret subliminal signs left by cat slaughtering devil worshipers, or as our over zealous media and journalists likes to refer to as Satanists.

For the actual story, more like ignorant sensationalist load of bullshit, which is in Arabic, press on this blue magical link:

http://bit.ly/10QAStw

So my question to you Mr. & Mrs. Intellectual: What do you do when faced with such a shameless story published in a respectable newspaper?

The reason I am saying it is respectable because I worked there for eight years with its sister newspaper The Star Weekly. Maybe the newspaper took a wrong turn over the years like our educational system that is rearing ignorance and lack of human morals among other things; ignorance that will haunt our society in the future in the form of clueless citizens.

Well, you don’t just publish a status condemning it as stupid and other adjectives that come into mind. Okay, maybe you do that but after just doing that, you pick up the telephone and call the head of the local news department who allowed the piece to get published.

Here is the number:

06 560 8000

Now make some noise before this turns into a witch hunt; and all graffiti and stencil artists are turned into moving targets by ignorant minds!

Since many, including administrators from Project Pen, have probably contacted the editor and the head of the local news department at Addustour, and in fear this black stain in the face of journalism will be removed as if nothing happened here is a screen shot of the actual piece of unprofessional journalism.

Addustour
Yalla, let us make that ignorant journalist regret the minute he decided to author a sensational piece that feeds on ignorance and fear of the different: Fear of art and freedom of expression.

* The opening line from The Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil …

By Mike V. Derderian

October 20 2008

“We have died enough. We die on a daily basis but what enrages me most is that our death is still primitive and happens so easily, which affirms our inability to learn more about it. It is like dying for the first time,” Satirist Muhammad Tommaleih, wrote, foreshadowing but not fearing death that will one day consume all.

The above quote by Tommaleih was featured in an article written in Arabic by Muhammad Shamma, a Jordanian journalist and radio presenter, who mourned Tommaleih, Jordan’s first and foremost satirical writer, who passed away on Monday, October 13.

“To describe him as a cultural phenomenon is not easy but he is a phenomenon. Through his articles and writings Tommaleih gives you a dose of reality and sincerity—honest and blatant sincerity without courtesies or euphemisms. Through his writings he embodies social reality with all its aspects,” Shamma wrote.

“I think that Tomaleh’s death and absence from the literary arena will have an impact specifically among sarcastic writers because he is one of the most influential book cynics among the new generation of writers. Although there are many cynical writers but they are not a creative talent like Mohammed,” Shamma later told The Star, adding, “he has always been strong willed and had a zest for life in spite of his misery.”

Even when he was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his tongue in 2004 Tommaleih stood up against life’s cruel judgment and disparaged his calamity in his daily writings in al-Arab al-Yawm newspaper. Still its impact was sensed in his writings whereby he started describing his mental and physical state after each and every chemotherapy session he underwent or a night spent in solitude at a hospital room.

His writings that mirrored life were doused with bouts of existentialism and his language was a hybrid of prose, poetry and everyman’s language, which would explain his appeal to Jordanians.

Born in Karak in 1957, Tommaleih wrote five books: Jawlet Arak (A Round of Aniseed liquor) (1980), al-Khaybah (The Disappointment) (1981), Molahazhat ala Qadia Assassiyah) (Notes on a Primary Case) (1981), al-Awghad al-Motahamsoon (The Enthusiastic Rascals) (1984), Elayha Betabi’at al-Hal (To Her Naturally) (2007) and Yahdoth Lee Duna Sa’er al-Nas (Happens to Me of All People) (2004)—in association with Emad Al-Hajjaj—in addition to the hundreds of pieces he wrote over a period of 20 years for local newspapers like ad-Dustour and al-Arab al-Yawm, where he continued to write since 1997 until his death.

Tommaleih had previously issued two satirical newspapers Qef (Stop) and al-Raseef (The Sidewalk) that he edited. He also worked for the satirical newspaper Abd Rabboh.

“We not only lost a special writer but also a literary figure with a unique creative output and a delicate personality,” ad-Dustour’s responsible editor-in-chief wrote in his editorial bidding farewell to Tommaleih, “Tommaleih always made sure to be a pioneer not an imitator. He was dubbed by many as the father of satirical writing, which is something he used to poke fun at as he only wanted a space, his thoughts and his style.”

Whether it was divine intervention or pure coincidence, I found Yousef Gheishan, a Jordanian satirical writer, standing outside Abu Ali’s Culture Kiosk in al-Balad (downtown Amman) where within its narrow space that was lined with books we talked about Tommaleih. “I wish there is a photocopier within reach so that I could give you a copy of a speech I am going to deliver about Tommaleih at a women’s,” Gheishan told The Star, as he rummaged through a folder he was holding.

“What can I say about Tommaleih except that he prodded us into thinking about life’s precious moments and constantly reminded us that we are alive! Our loss is great but we—his colleagues and readers—are still to feel the brunt of his death,” continued Gheishan, affirming Tommaleih’s title as the father of satire in Jordan, “he started a satirical column entitled Eyewitness at ad-Dustour in 1983 and its first piece was entitled The Sultans of Corridors. Tommaleih was also the first to launch satirical newspapers.”

Gheishan describes Tommaleih’s writing style as being unique and hard to imitate. “We always tried to imitate his style of writing but we never got close [referring to other Jordanian satirists] to his style that was closer to literary writing peppered with sarcasm,” Gheishan explained.

A day earlier Gheishan wrote in his column at ad-Dustour that he won’t request from the audience at a lecture he was holding on satirical writing to stand a moment of silence for Tommaleih. Why? “He most probably would laugh at us,” Gheishan laughingly stated before disappearing in a wave of people streaming by the kiosk.

What is bizarre is the disappearance of Tommaleih works from bookshops and book kiosks in al-Balad after his death was announced in local newspapers. “I don’t have a single volume. People probably are realizing the value of his words and writings, which would explain why there are no books left,” the Kiosk owner Abu Ali told The Star.

“I wept at his family home. His brother made me cry. Muhammad is part of me and it is hard to describe him. Mohammad is a playwright, a moviemaker, a poet and a storyteller. In my opinion he is the best there was in Jordan and the Arab world. He was an avid reader and a prolific writer,” Abu Ali, who knew Tommaleih since he was a student, said adding that he hopes that Tommaleih’s family would soon start reprinting his books that are now in demand as they were when he was alive. “There are no words to describe his words. He loved Jordan and he was loved by everyone, and I mean everyone.”

After my inquiry, Sami, another book kiosk owner, whipped out his mobile and called up his store so as to ask about books by Tommaleih. “Not a single copy. We have to re-order them,” he exclaimed before saying that many people have been asking for his books.

– Usually not suitable for the faint of heart but this post is okay –

The year 2048.

It was a rather surreal moment.

The aircraft slowed down until it was parallel to the alien vehicle. “It is now or never,” Midnight said to himself, as he rolled down the window before incessantly pressing, with the back of his palm, the horn. The leader of the alien aircraft adjusted his position in order to catch glimpse of the driver of the speeding vehicle that was now so close to his.

“Jama suity chewiebacca fala fel hom-ass. Kala wata wati tito teezak ya ghabi homara pota!” Midnight yelled as he flipped the birdie at the shocked alien, “and as we say in earth lingo: Screw you you idiot. Lose the license to ill and stop driving. Piece of shit specimen!”
Midnight then hastily pressed the TBNICOPAA (short for Turbo Booster Now In Case of Potential Alien Attack) hoping to disappear into the horizon, especially that the angry alien armed its aircraft weapons.

While some enjoy the warmth of their beds at 6:00 a.m. in the morning one man is always out there; roaming the badlands of Planet Jordania: Midnight V, the solitary asphalt-farer.

To be continued or not …


Lately my dependency on the Social Network has been turning into guilt-filled-angst that is spread thick on spent hours. Another strong reason behind my writing and designing the above visual statement is because Facebook is becoming my work after work.

For a husband and a father of a lovely little girl, and, pretty soon, the father of another child, this dependency is really irritating the existential Homo sapien within me.

I’ve contemplated deactivating my account so many times, however, every time a strong argument that goes in my head prevents me from doing so:

I now have so many acquaintances, from the region and the world, who I really enjoy conversing and interacting with; some are now even amazing friends that I care for!

Facebook has also become my personal PR headquarters, where I post my work through pages that reflect my passions. It helps me connect with creatives, be they writers or artists, or just plain normal folk like you and I, whose work and thoughts I respect. Of course I regard myself more of a writer and an aspiring comic artist than an artist-artist.

Plus disconnecting in this time and age would be PR suicide and it will turn you into a castaway much like Robinson Crusoe, who is constantly searching for his Man Friday!

So the above poster is to remind me – I am sure you don’t need my advice on anything, especially the time you spend on Facebook – that there is a real life beyond the  few centimeters that make up a computer screen within which I am leading a cyber existence.