If you’re not fast, you’re food

Posted: November 21, 2009 in Stand Up and La Danse Macabre...!

If you’re not fast, you’re food

I am assuming that you all saw the new Timberland running shoe ad!

If you didn’t here is the link:


Here is my take:

Jim was confident that he was fast enough and that his new pair of Timberland shoes won’t fail him. It was a clear day when he decided to go running in the woods.

Suddenly and out of nowhere a roaring Grizzly bear sprung from behind the bushes, a pack of wolves crawled out of their hidden burrows and wild boars sprung from mud-holes.

Heck even a beaver that was busy building a dam joined in on the chase.

“Oh, damn. I’ve been building this dam forever. Let’s stretch them short legs…wait for me. I want his nuts,” the beaver, whose mother was a squirrel, yelled.

Minutes later it was all over and a cry of pain echoed across the wild.

“Son of a bitch. I didn’t see that stiff leg coming. Should have warmed up…nahhhhhhhhhhhhh…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Jim yelled in utmost agony before a bear ripped his head off and ate it.

The snarling wolves disemboweled him, while the boars ate his arms and feet, and the beaver gnawed on what was left of the torn torso and the nuts.

It is not the shoe, or the socks or the aerodynamic shorts…it is how much you warm up before you run.

So obviously the Timberland ad should have been as following:

“If you don’t warm up and stretch…you’re food…”

On a final note:

Jordan’s is devoid of bears and wolves, and we only have wild boars that come from the other side of the fence according to disgruntled farmers in the Jordan Valley.

Ok maybe there are some skinny assed retired Russian circus bears that are kept in Debeen with a starving lion that is fed fruits and vegetables.

Misleading بس في عنا ضباع جربة فخذلك هالإعلان شو انو

If they used Hyenas I would have believed the ad and bought the shoe….

(For more go to my comedy group, or stay here, The Loco Local: Jordanian Stand Up in English & Swahili: http://www.facebook.com/inbox/readmessage.php?t=1166697733038&f=1&e=-12#/group.php?gid=32018417138&ref=ts)


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