Do Your Own Writing!

Posted: September 11, 2009 in Stand Up and La Danse Macabre...!

Do Your Own Writing!
January 25, 2009

It is past midnight. A young Jordanian, a writer and a journalist, tired of working decides to go to sleep. “Screw the deadline. I am tired,” the overweight man convinces himself.

The young man heads to the bathroom. There he brushes his teeth diligently, gurgles his lungs out and spits the pasty solution in the sink, and does a couple of few things that you usually do when you are in the toilet-yes besides reading Layalina. Did i say read!!!

“Hmm…mint…should buy the strawberry flavored ones next time…Too bad they don’t have After Eight flavored toothpaste,” he muses before he turns off the light and heads to his bedroom. He quickly undresses, wears his Tin Tin pajamas and retires to his warm bed.

No sooner his drowsy head hits the pillow, and before a flock of sheep even gathers in the fields of his weary mind, he hears the sound of his laptop’s boot-up—Vista, an operating system that he loathes. Quick keyboard clicks are followed. He tip toes to his workstation. To his surprise the room is lit and a young elf is sitting in front of his laptop.

“Hey…you’re one of them elves…aren’t you and by the way what are you doing with my laptop?” the young man shouted at the startled elf.

“Human you have scared thee…I am an elf and…,”the pink colored elf announced but before he continued his sentence the young man gave out a joyful laugh. “You are here to finish writing my article just like in the Elves and the Shoemaker story. Oh thank you…thank you. You’re a writer-elf but where are the others!”

“No no no you lazy bastard. You do your own work. Elves are no longer involved in manual labor. Not since Santa Clause fired us after we asked for a raise and our yearly vacation. Santa bad employer…he must be Jordanian. The old miser hired Chinese and Indian workers and guess who is running Santa’s little shop now…a Lebanese dude called Nadeem El Khoz. As for why I am here…my cousin who was here to fix your ADSL connection found your collection of porn movies that you’ve downloaded from the Internet, when you kept your computer running all night long,” the elf explained to our young protagonist.

The young man is a bit confused and to tell you the truth if you’ve reached this far you must be as confused. “But I have to say your collection is a bit out of date. News flash human Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Do you have Lord of the Flings? I hear that Arwen is played by Jenna Jaimson…” the elf concludes with a wink.

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