Cinerama: Two Much

Posted: September 11, 2009 in Cinerama

Two Much
By Mike Derderian

Last week, the true face of journalism unraveled itself to me—the naive writer who thought that he earns his pennies using his Pctec keyboard and his organic mind. But no, I type and the words magically appear on the screen of my Acer V55. Finally, I am a complete AI.

An advertising agent announces boldly that our salaries—the writers—are endowed by the grace of a 3×5 rectangular fill-in-the-blank sold-out space. Sorry, I am not for sale.

I never regarded myself a part of the infamous Ronin—a hired sword, sorry pen. Unlike a certain person I interviewed weeks ago, who published an article in which he sold his soul by a push of a button pressed by an embryo Fm frequency. Elliot where art thou?

How can you be number one in anything if you haven’t been in the market for more than a few years time, I say welcome to the world of advertising, my dear human. So, tell me, are you an over tanned being, who believes that he needs a magic tonic in order to turn into a fair and lovely creature.

I would have preferred to be cast into the sea with my arms and legs shackled with molten iron, before I would sell my word and diminish the respect of my self-esteem that truly values my out-of-date principled spirit.
The mercenary Troubadour sung:

‘Serving two aesthetic ladies from Kalin-worde is my game, Word’s daughters beauty written and divine rowdy
spoken; Less I care of the world’s fortunes of gold and silver or fame, For once the ink flowed along wasted blood all was interwoven.’

Too much poetry can kill a man and so does being involved with two women, especially if one was Splash’s Daryl Hannah and the other was Something Wild’s Melanie Griffith. Who is the lucky fella? It’s non-other than Desperado’s Antonio Banderas.

How much credibility is left in an actor after voicing a character called Puss-in-Boots? Just kidding for the mere meow or purr coming out of him would sound like the mambo king that came all the way from Once Upon A Time in Mexico.
Directed by Fernando Trueba, the 1995 Too Much romantic comedy will make your professional time management schedule sound like the white rabbit’s watch.

Imagine yourself in the shoes of Art Dodge, the main character, and somehow through divine intervention you are stuck between two worlds-apart sisters. So in order to impress one into loving you, and the other into divorcing you, inventing a twin becomes a must. But wait; to complicate matters the older sister is the ex-wife of a really bad tempered mafia boss!

In addition to Banderas in the role of Dodge and the sisters from hell, Betty (Griffith) and Liz (Hannah), the film also stars Eli Wallach, Joan Cusack and Danny Aiello as Gene, the crime boss itching to break Dodge’s kneecaps.
Contrary to what the tagline says, “Two many women… so little time”, if you find yourself in such a situation they meant to say, “it’s time to spread your legs to the wind, Casanova.”

Dubbing the film as being a disappointment is a grieve mistake even though the theme of impersonating twin plot was over and over exhausted by the Hollywood dream machine Two Much will prove to be more than a mindless spoof.
Griffith role as Betty was a reprisal of the rich airhead in the 1993 Born Yesterday only in this film she goes all the way with the clueless persona.

Contrary to the loud motor mouth Betty, a hallmark of Griffith, who is more than often is overwhelmed by the urge to knock a person out cold with a dose of childish rambling fit, Daryl Hannah’s portrayal of the ice cool sophisticated rich gal fits right into her very much publicized screen image of the unattainable babe.

If you can’t break’em imitate’em, and this is how Arte found the niche for his art loving, sophisticated and reserved twin brother by enacting the same attitude in which Liz received the fumbling, fast-moving and unbearable Arte.

The use of the cliché slapstick comedy scene where the male character wrestles time and place while being with both sisters was more than brilliantly re-created by Banderas, whose buried comedy talents reemerged in the animated Shrek films, Play It to the Bone and some traces in Zorro.

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