Best submarines flicks and underwater adventures
By Mike Derderian
After watching the Hollywood classic The Seven Year Itch I had an itch to put together my 1,000 pieces Jumbo Marilyn Monroe Puzzle, which I’ve been saving for a while. Thinking I had a Beautiful Mind like John Nash I tore away and headed out on my Mission Impossible.
Facing a thousand pieces of Marilyn’s many faces (twenty to be exact, I counted them) and after an hour or so I realized that I hated math. I said to myself: “This will take a whole week if not a year with the tight time management I have in my life”. I can hear my editor laughing at the idea of me having a “tight time management.”
What was I thinking! It was a moment of euphoria, can you blame a Marilyn dedicated fan for being fascinated with Norma Jean? At that very moment I realized that my passion for cinema would only die when I am sex feet under. The sad part is I don’t think they have cinemas or DVDs “there”, so until then Heaven Can Wait.
The above revelation took place on Friday. Saturday afternoon I returned home at about 6:30 pm, switched the television on and sat on my favorite couch. Later that day I watched A Very Brady Sequel, which unless you liked the seventies period, groovy nonsensical dialogue, Marcia (Christine Taylor) and happened to like the first part, The Brady Bunch Movie, I wouldn’t advise you to watch this one—why? You’ll simply hate it, because it is a very bad sequel that already had a bad prequel.
At 8:30 pm I went over to a friends place. At midnight I was back home but not in bed for having acquired a Blade: Trinity VCD. So I had an itch to watch it even though it was becoming late and past my bedtime, and column deadline. I was supposed to start writing this week’s Cinerama but I couldn’t resist the urge to watch the third sequel of Blade—a PG 13 film based on a DC comic book character about a very disgruntled vampire who is kept human through medication while hunting down and killing other vampires that are seeking to role the world. Blade in one sentence is Wesley Snipes at his coolest and best action roles in a gothic action film that actually has a good plot, dialogue, music and special effects—believe it or not.
Back to what I promised you last week… a list of the best submarine flicks, above-water and underwater adventures. Are you ready? Well, if you’ve reached this far, I guess you are.
My first cinematic aquatic moments as a child were glimpses of Steven Spielberg’s Jaws but since last weeks column was about submarines here’s a selection you should watch: The Enemy Below (1957), starring Robert Mitchum, Curd Jürgens, David Hedison and Theodore Bikel; U-571 (2000), starring Matthew McConaughey, Bill Paxton, Harvey Keitel and Jon Bon Jovi; Crimson Tide (1995), starring Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington, James Gandolfini and Viggo Mortensen; The Hunt for Red October (1990), starring Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin, Scott Glenn, James Earl Jones and Sam Neil; K9: The Widowmaker (2002), starring Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson and Joss Ackland; The Abyss (1989), starring Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Michael Biehn.
All of the above films—except for The Abyss, which is one of the greatest underwater sci-fi thrillers that were ever made—are war films. The Abyss’ events take place in a sea colony, where a group of scientist led by Virgil and Lindsy Brigman (Harris and Mastrantonio) were conducting tests when they suddenly stumble upon alien life forms. The exciting ambience of the film and the well-created submarine effects, chase and fight scene definitely qualifies it as a great worth watching submarine film.
If you don’t like crammed quarters and taking orders to launch a nuclear weapon on a populated country then maybe you are a person, who likes to swim with the creatures of the sea. But mind you well that the creatures in the following five films are anything but friendly, nevertheless, they’d really love to have you for dinner: Jaws (1973), starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw; Deep Blue Sea (1999), starring Thomas Jane, Saffron Burrows, Michael Rapaport and LL Cool J; Lake Placid (1999), starring Bill Pulman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt and Brendan Gleeson; The Beast (1996), starring William L. Petersen, Karen Sillas and Missy Crider; Creature (1998), starring Craig T. Nelson, Kim Cattrall, Cress Williams and Michael Michele.
Those movies all presented interesting man-eating creatures, whom will make you think twice before taking a nice sea dip: A Great White shark; three Mako sharks with oversized brains; a large Crocodile; two giant squids; and an amphibious shark.
If you really want my opinion, Lake Placid falls under comedy, but then again with a big crock that likes to munch on people, I tend to have mixed emotions about it every time I watch it.
Finally if you hate under water horror film and you are more interested in a good adventure shark-free film, where one’s imagination can kick in the moment the film begins here is a list you’d be interested in: Water World (1995), starring Kevin Costner, Jean Tripplehorn, Tina Majorino and Dennis Hopper; The Little Mermaid (1984), starring the voices of Jodi Benson, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll and Samuel E. Wright; Future Boy Conan—Mirai Shônen Conan (1978), starring the voices of Noriko Ohara, Mieko Nobusawa and Ichirô Nagai; The Deep (1978), starring Robert Shaw, Nick Nolte Jacqueline Bisset, Louis Gossett Jr and Eli Wallach; The Perfect Storm (2000), starring George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Diane Lane and John C. Reilly.
Hope you find the time to watch them, and as for next week… let us leave it to next week.