The Unusual and Out of the Ordinary Twitter Ab-User (Ep. 1)

Posted: September 10, 2009 in The Unusual and Out of the Ordinary Twitter Ab-user

The Unusual and Out of the Ordinary Twitter Ab-User Logo TMSeptember 7, 2009

Ever wondered how the tweets of the following characters would be like? Here goes…

Shlomo, a trigger happy Zionist Soldier

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Shlomo Just shot a Palestinian child. Tried to kill another one but the son of a bitch disappeared.
about 1 minute ago from mobile
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Shlomo Look at that thing go 🙂 Whoa. Helped the boys demolish down a house. The entire family is out in the cold. Hehe.
about 10 minute ago from mobile
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Shlomo Those olive trees are sure hard to cut down. Why is that old woman hugging that tree and weeping. It is just a tree!  Arabs!!
about 25 minute ago from mobile
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Shlomo Someone hit me with a little stone…shot him in the leg. He will remember me.  Heh…hehe…
about 25 minute ago from mobile
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Shlomo Rifca is very sexy. Her sister Rachel is sexy too. Can’t wait to go on a vacation and head to Tel-Aviv and bang them both.
about hour minutes ago
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Shlomo machine gun jammed as I was trying to shot a woman and her sister. I think she was a suicide bomber. She had a bulge in her stomach.
about a minute ago from mobile
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Shlomo Oops my bad. She was pregnant. Didn’t see that coming 😉 Gael is angry at me. Arab lover piece of shit. I hope he gets shot.
about 4 minutes ago from mobile
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Shlomo @ Issac @ Sara @ Jane @ Dodo: Home with Emma and Abba. I hate the army and I hate Arabs. Don’t want to go back. I just want to live. Why do they hate us? This is our land. God promised it to us. Can anyone answer me?  Where is the heavenly lease!!!!
01:99 PM Sep 1 from web
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Osama Bin Ladder
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OsamaBinLadder Cave is getting damp. Must find another one. Where is the Goddamn, oops, I mean where is my VAPEE machine. I am being eaten alive by these Afghan mosquitoes 😦
15 hours ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder Khalil is late. He is translating a terrorist speech that I dictated him three hours ago. Told him to learn Shorthand.
10 minutes ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder @Khalil Tell John, I mean, Salameh, that Yankee from Texas, who recently joined us, to help you with the spelling. Remember bee creative 😉
27 minutes ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder I would like a cup of warm milk and Oreos. Hmm…
10 days ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder Someone must bomb those infidels on Rottan-nah especially that Haifa Wahbeh. I don’t care if she appeared with George Wassuf.
5 minutes ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder Speaking of George Wassuf! I can’t find his tape. Damn. @ Komar I want my tape back today before I lose my head.
10 minutes ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder @Komar, Ehem, I meant you lose your head?
12 minutes ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder Attended a beheading video-taping session. Idiots forgot to bring a sword. We had to shot the bastard. I swear the son of a bitch was gloating. No one was carrying a single blade. Not even a pencil sharpener.
two days ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder Sometime I think this whole military fiasco on Afghanistan was concocted by Gillettee to promote their evil products!
an hour ago from web
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OsamaBinLadder What is this? I asked for a canon and Joma3a brings me a Canon 3 in 1. The asshole bought it from Amazon using my VISA. Idiot!!! What am I supposed to with this? Fax George W. Bush to death?
6 minutes ago from web
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George W. Bush
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GeorgeW.Bush GeorgeW.Bush Reading Peanutz. Must tell Lora we need a fan in the bathroom.
1 minute ago from mobile
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GeorgeW.Bush oops meant fann. Fan.
1 minute and 30 seconds ago from mobile
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GeorgeW.Bush Shit. Where did that women put them toilet rolls!!!
6 minutes ago from mobile
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GeorgeW.Bush I love Peanuts. That dog’s Snoopy is mighty cleaver for a dawg.
8 minutes ago from mobile

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GeorgeW.Bush I am begnning to realize that I am more like Charlies Brown than Lucy. I am so unluky.
10 minutes ago mobile
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GeorgeW.Bush is walking the dog…agin I am board.
12 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Alon in da house.
13 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Miss them presse confarences.
14 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Thank God that fellow from I-rak mised me. Them shoes were quite big. It would have left a big mark. Whoa…thank God for my fast Pumah reflekses.
20 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Wait a s one minute. A dog and a typewriter. Now I am pozitive. Schultz is the one who wrote us the reportt about I-rak’s nuklear arsanal cauze heck it was unbelievalably funny 🙂
22 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Heya Condilisa want to grab a piza….? I’ll call Dick if you wont.
25 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Is it me or is Obama BLACK? A-ok. I am sure he is black like Mariah Carey and Pink. Not Michael Jackson black but the man is BLACK 😦
26 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush I just read the newspaper. WTF? The war in I-rak is still going on. I tought it would end when I left office! Jeez. That what every1 else told mee…
29 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush Watching Dr. Phil. Man that man can talk. He truly inspires me.
31 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush I love this Tweeting thingie. Keeeps me in touch with my worldwide funs.
36 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush oops. Meant fanss
37 minutes ago from web
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GeorgeW.Bush OMG. I just got a fax from Ossama. Good to know that someo1 out there still thinks of me 🙂
59 minutes ago from web
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A no good asshole piece of shit son of a bitch who murdered his sister an hour ago

Honor killing my ass…bullshit
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MFSisKillah Washing my hands. Wow this stuff is hard to wash away. Ruined my T-shirt. Made dad proud. Cleansed our family honor.
An hour ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Mama is still crying. Ah, she’ll get over it. She keeps forgetting I have two more sisters.
1 minute ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Uncle and my cousins brought some sweets and Konafah. Mmm.
10 minutes ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Disappointed I wanted it Konafah koshneh.
11 minutes ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Was watching Bay Watch when Louie called me from inside. She is still moving. Damn. Three bullets to the head and she is still moving. Should have slit her throat.
25 minutes ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Going to the kitchen to find a cleaver and a bigger knife. I hate using made in China knives as they break on impact. That what  my cousins told me. We’ll find out soon.
30 minutes ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah Dad can’t remember where he hid the axe? She is still moving.
32 minutes ago from mobile
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MFSisKillah WHOA. SIGH. Finally she is dead. Hard to kill. She really struggled. She kicked like a sheep though. LOOL. Mom is mopping the floor. Too much blood. We run out of clean towels. Louie went to the grocery store to get Dettool.
41 minutes ago
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MFSisKillah @Jameel @ Samer @3amo Sameh Dad is taking me to the police station. I am practicing my angry face. Think angry. I am angry. I am angry. I am angry. I am angry.
55 minutes ago
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A Suicide Bomber

The rogue and indiscriminating type
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SBApocalypseNow Wore the explosive belt. It makes me look fat.
a hour ago from mobile
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SBApocalypseNow A little tense….
two hours ago from mobile
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SBApocalypseNow Why am I doing this again sir? Kill as many as civilians I can. Hmm…but aren’t we supposed to kill military men!
three hours ago from mobile
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SBApocalypseNow Forgot to shave and comb my hair. Too late…
5 minutes ago from mobile
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SBApocalypseNow Jamal and Art Maleek said he will come and get me after we are done? Liar, he doesn’t have a car…
10 minutes ago from mobile
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SBApocalypseNow I wonder what does this chord do? #%$^ BOoMB $$$$^&&&@@ (Operator: The number you have dialed is no longer in service)
25 minutes ago from mobile
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Saed K. Kamal, a pissed off and slightly dumb Jordanian driver
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SaedK.Kamal Move over woman. I curse the man who gave you a license.
10 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal Oh look a horrible accident. Traffic is a killer. Everybody is watching. Too bad I don’t have popcorn like the others. It is like watching an action movie in slow motion. Free stuff. yeah. Idiots.
23 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal Stuck at the 5th circle. Whoever came up with Croka is a dumb ass who should be kicked in the ass. Shit some asshole just hit me. WTF!
28 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal Oops just went over a cat.
36 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal Crossed a red light. Policemen pulled me over. I lied through my teeth.
60 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal I am surrounded by bad drivers…Idiots. Just gave one the finger. Better than shouting and hurting my lungs. I think everyone should adopt the finger. Less words but definitely more expressive.
10 minutes ago from mobile
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SaedK.Kamal Almost lost my temper. A little kid was trying to sell me gum. I hate those kids. Get a job? Oops forgot they are under-aged 😦 Where is child welfare? I suddenly feel that I am an asshole and shouldn’t have yelled at the poor thing! I hate myself. Whyyyyyy?
10:30 PM Sep 5 from mobile
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A7laMP, a parliamentarian
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A7laMP Bored. This meeting about the financial deficit is pretty boring. What am I doing here? Oh, it’s the pay and fringe benefits that some say I don’t deserve.
11: 00 AM Aug 12 from mobile
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A7laMP With the Mrs and kids going to the mall using my governmental car and driver…he…he…he?  Must get a new car though. This one is old.
12: 00 AM Aug 12 from mobile
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A7laMP Endorsed the decision to raise gas prices…what do I care?
1:00 PM Aug 14 from mobile
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A7laMP @ Raed I pity the idiots who elected me 😉 RAFLAMAO
2:00 PM Aug 14 from mobile
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A7laMP Still in bed I don’t feel like going to today’s extraordinary session. I am too tired. This is job is harder than I expected. YAWN.
11:30 AM Sep 1 from mobile
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A7laMP @ Jameela I wonder why they keep writing bad stuff about us in the newspaper. We are doing our jobs…aren’t we love?
11: 30 AM Aug 12 from mobile

Saleem, a Jordanian underpaid and disgruntled employee
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Saleem Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk….my boss.
a day ago from web
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Saleem I hate this stupid job. I quit.
two days ago from web
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Saleem A plague upon my boss and his bitchy wife.
three days ago from web
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Saleem I hate my senior manager, who is my boss’s second cousin. They blocked internet. Assholes.
1 minute ago from mobile
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Saleem Sitting at a useless brainstorming session. What a waste of time. The only one the boss is listening to is himself. He sure has a big mouth and a bigger head. Who came up with this idiot concept 😦
an hour ago from mobile
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Saleem Asked for a raise. The bastard told me they don’t have money. Stop buying too many Rolexs’ you piece of shit.
10 minutes ago from mobile
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Saleem No transportation fees anymore.
15 minutes ago from mobile
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Saleem I am so underpaid. I quit
18 minutes ago from mobile
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Saleem Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…. Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk…Fcuk….Fcuk my boss, this job, this salary, this position and everything. I am quitting and this time it is for real.
a day ago from mobile
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Saleem @ Sameera. Long time no see? Hey do you need anyone to fix your coffee at the office? Yes an office boy! I have a B.A in English Literature, marketing and I make a mean Turkish coffee.
three days ago from web
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Saleem unemployed 😦 Fcuk el Teis. Worked with a Khara but the Khara turned out to be a bitch 😦
a minute ago from web
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A Sexist Pig
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J.B.DaDick Who is she kidding she got the job by sleeping around?
25 minutes ago from mobile
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J.B.DaDick Wow. Hot woman at Swefieh. She deserves being shouted and howled at like a piece of meat. Who told you to wear a skirt? Stupid bitch…still a pretty one.
A day ago from mobile
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J.B.DaDick A woman is standing at the bar digging me.
1 minute ago from mobile
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J.B.DaDick Yeah she digs me. Offered her and her friends the tenth shot. She really diggs me.
2 minutes ago from mobile
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J.B.DaDick Can’t find the bitch 😦 She left. Damn. I hate it when this happen. Do I have ‘Kharoof’ engraved on my forehead. Ma3…Ma3…
10 minutes ago from mobile
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J.B.DaDick Shit. Where is my condom pack? I might get lucky tonight. Lots of fine women at Souk Jara…yeah.
A week ago from mobile
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The Asshole at the Office
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AssHole Shit they blocked Facebook. I wonder how I will make the day harder for everyone else today!
A minute ago from web

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The Endos 4 Now

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Comments
  1. fatim says:

    oh wow , omg i cant belive this

    so far i have heard all the gd stuff about twitter, its advantages , how gd it is. i guess i didnt look at the other side of it.

    it never crossed my mind that this can also be part of it, its shocking! ..i cant believe what i read , i cant process it.

    thanks for the post, an eye opener

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